July 06, 2009

the last inexplicable fact in the universe, recipe for iced coffee concentrate, the ultimate secret revealed

1. Sales of cake are steady year-round, but sales of pie spike around Thanksgiving and again in late February. Why late February? No one knows.

2. Why did the laws of physics arrange it so that a pound of coffee steeped in a gallon of water for twelve to sixteen hours will produce a perfect iced-coffee concentrate? The units of measurement aren’t even metric.

3. Three o'clock: the grandfather clock's chimes harmonize perfectly with the indie-rock song on the speakers – and by “harmonize perfectly” I mean with a charming slight dissonance. The singer goes:

Last night I had the strangest dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed.

How rare it is to grasp this truth!

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