June 22, 2009

You Asked, "What's on the Clearance Rack at Half-Price Books?"

This Book Will Get You Laid –- why aren't readers rushing to show this title at the cashier’s stand?

Medical Abbreviations: 24,000 Conveniences at the Expense of Communications and Safety, 11th edition -– including such dread ailments as:

DWW – dynamic wall walk
RTS –- raised toilet seat
MPO -– male-pattern obesity
PMZ -– postmenopausal zest

Business Polish Glossary -- so I’m making an ethic joke, so sue me! It's not even on Amazon -- do you realize how hard that is to achieve?

Ultimate Tailgater’s Big 12 Handbook -- all the potential readers bought six-packs instead

C. C. Pyle’s Amazing Foot Race: The True Story of the 1928 Coast-to-Coast Run Across America -– the saga of the "bunion derby" -- what the publishers forgot was that their customers are people who spend most of their lives sitting comfortably in chairs

Enola Gay: The Bombing of Hiroshima –- this book will get you laid by a sociopathic World War II veteran

Read Between My Lines: The Musical and Life Journey of Stevie Nicks –- words fail me; and they consistently fail Stevie Nicks, too

The Art of the Band T-Shirt -– would make a great twofer with the Stevie Nicks -- rock on!

Ferrets for Dummies –- indispensable for “For Dummies” completists

and my favorite...I can't believe it isn't a bestseller...

How to Tell If Your Boyfriend is the Antichrist (And If He Is, Should You Break Up with Him?) –- how to tell if your girlfriend is bad news: she’s reading this book

...but seriously, folks...

• Shakespeare's sonnets (you don't need a link for this, I hope)
• Virgil's Aeneid the high-tone new Robert Fagles translation -- however... Virgil ≠ Homer. I'd like to know how much of a bath Viking took on this one. It's the #60 seller among epic poems -- I didn't even know there were 60 epic poems.
Pushkin: A Biography -- British of course, an award-winner by an Oxford don, it rightly sank in mid-Atlantic, for what true American cares about the greatest Russian poet?

...and one I'd really buy, if my tigers were still cubs:

Becoming a Tiger: How Baby Animals Learn to Live in the Wild

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