August 22, 2006

Closed for Repairs

The usual things have been happening around here and I just don’t feel like blogging about them. Last week was the first week of school for Agents 95 and 97. Then my wife and I took a weekend trip to a beautiful wedding in another part of the country. A few months ago I would have enthusiastically mined at least one poignant/funny/perceptive post about each of those events. Now I’m wondering what it would add to my life, to my appreciation of those events, or even to my art, to do so. (I’ve always hated the phrase “my art” when people use it about their own work. It seems so pretentious. But I’m feeling less pretentious about my work than ever, so why not be sloppy and use it?)

My regular readers are probably aware that I’ve been progressively slowing down my output throughout the year. It’s reached the point where I’d have to force myself to try to think of a story. What used to be a joy has become an obligation.

I’m going to stop blogging for a good long while, at least a month or two. Then I’ll see what happens. I’d like to start again, but I don’t know if I will or not. For a very long time it’s been important to me to see myself as “creative,” so much so that the freshest experience I could have might be to go without a creative outlet for a while. I’ve been saddled onto my creativity for a long time and maybe it’s time to get off that lame horse and walk. And admire the riders as they pass me by.

I expect that this decision will make me feel both sad and free. Blogging is a wonderful invention and I’ve loved participating in its development. I hope to keep reading your blogs and see how you’re doing and comment from time to time. (Some good blogs have disappeared or dwindled recently, but the ones that remain seem to me to be putting out stronger, deeper, livelier posts than ever.) I’m often startled and stirred by how much first-rate thought and writing comes out of this medium by people doing it in their spare time for nonmaterial rewards.

Maybe you’ll see me back here in the fall…maybe not. If I do come back, I’ll try to spread the word through this wonderful little circle of online friends. Hugs to all of you.