October 19, 2005

For Those Who Like to Mock the New York Times

If you said aloud, "Computer, write me an article in which a New York Times food writer talks about moving to the Texas Hill Country and living next to a venison ranch," it would come up with this.

Included are priceless details such as:

• a vignette of hearing a venison chili recipe from the local postmistress

• a photo of the author in jeans and cowboy hat, cavorting with an antelope (playing with her food while it's still alive? -- though in this case the animal in question is spared as a pet)

• an explanation of how seeing her meat in its live state has made her "revere the meat more"

• the information that the word "venison" comes from the Latin "venari," meaning "to hunt"

• descriptions of "gutsy" venison burgers (I hate that word, it's so Eighties, so SILVER PALATE COOKBOOK. Imagine people who think their menu choice shows their courage. And what is a gutsy burger, anyway -- a burger made from intestines?)

• an appreciation of the complex flavors of wild game: "In each bite, there is mountain juniper, wild persimmon, sun-drenched limestone, a current of prickly pear and the cool eucalyptus scent of an agarita bush." (If you're biting into limestone, count me out.)

• a sentence beginning, "When I spent time cooking at a chateau in France..."

This article, in other words, takes the gateau. Bon appetit!