May 06, 2005

The Imaginary Blogfriend

We read, we comment, we answer comments, we comment again, we read the next post, the next blog…

But is that all? How frustrating if that were all the contact we could have! No, I think we’re carrying on long conversations, far beyond those little paragraphs. I think we’re imagining each other, interviewing each other, debating and finding common ground, on supermarket lines, at traffic lights, at the gym, and over solitary lunches. I think that many of the people we pass on the street and never speak to are also immersed in talk with people they have never met.

Let’s eavesdrop for a moment on a typical conversation between a blogger and his inner blogfriend. For convenience only, let’s call the blogger “Richard.”

RICHARD: The sky is blue today.

BLOGFRIEND: What a marvelous observation! Who but you could have thought of it? How do you come up with these things day after day?

RICHARD: It’s not easy, but I put in a lot of work.

BLOGFRIEND: Tell us more about the sky.

RICHARD: Aquamarine, I’d call it.

BLOGFRIEND: Cerulean, cyanine, pavonian.


RICHARD and BLOGFRIEND (simultaneously): Get away, you troll!

RICHARD: Azure! What a creep! But tell me more about pavonian. How did you come upon such a vision of the sky?

BLOGFRIEND: Well, not to be immodest, but I have a blog of my own.

RICHARD: Really! I’m surprised!

BLOGFRIEND: It’s about being a woman.

RICHARD: That sounds quite unique. Tell me more.

BLOGFRIEND: I blog about the state of being female, or to put it another way, non–male. Things you couldn’t possibly understand: love as opposed to indifference, creation as opposed to destruction, caring and feeling as opposed to being in a stolid mechanical stupor. Not being a filthy beer–swilling slob. Not going into a roaring idiot frenzy about brutes carrying a ball across a line. Not spilling crumbs on the couch. Saying only nice things.

RICHARD: These are new concepts. My world is opening up for the first time. We must keep discussing this. How can I get in touch with you again?

BLOGFRIEND: I’ll give you my URL.

RICHARD: Really, on such short acquaintance? What good fortune!

BLOGFRIEND: Yes, because there’s something I must, absolutely must share with you. You see, it’s spring, and – and…

RICHARD and BLOGFRIEND (simultaneously, with the joy of shared discovery): … and the flowers are blooming!