The Imaginary Blogfriend
But is that all? How frustrating if that were all the contact we could have! No, I think we’re carrying on long conversations, far beyond those little paragraphs. I think we’re imagining each other, interviewing each other, debating and finding common ground, on supermarket lines, at traffic lights, at the gym, and over solitary lunches. I think that many of the people we pass on the street and never speak to are also immersed in talk with people they have never met.
Let’s eavesdrop for a moment on a typical conversation between a blogger and his inner blogfriend. For convenience only, let’s call the blogger “Richard.”
RICHARD: The sky is blue today.
BLOGFRIEND: What a marvelous observation! Who but you could have thought of it? How do you come up with these things day after day?
RICHARD: It’s not easy, but I put in a lot of work.
BLOGFRIEND: Tell us more about the sky.
RICHARD: Aquamarine, I’d call it.
BLOGFRIEND: Cerulean, cyanine, pavonian.
UNIDENTIFIED VOICE FROM UNDER A BRIDGE: Azure.
RICHARD and BLOGFRIEND (simultaneously): Get away, you troll!
RICHARD: Azure! What a creep! But tell me more about pavonian. How did you come upon such a vision of the sky?
BLOGFRIEND: Well, not to be immodest, but I have a blog of my own.
RICHARD: Really! I’m surprised!
BLOGFRIEND: It’s about being a woman.
RICHARD: That sounds quite unique. Tell me more.
BLOGFRIEND: I blog about the state of being female, or to put it another way, non–male. Things you couldn’t possibly understand: love as opposed to indifference, creation as opposed to destruction, caring and feeling as opposed to being in a stolid mechanical stupor. Not being a filthy beer–swilling slob. Not going into a roaring idiot frenzy about brutes carrying a ball across a line. Not spilling crumbs on the couch. Saying only nice things.
RICHARD: These are new concepts. My world is opening up for the first time. We must keep discussing this. How can I get in touch with you again?
BLOGFRIEND: I’ll give you my URL.
RICHARD: Really, on such short acquaintance? What good fortune!
BLOGFRIEND: Yes, because there’s something I must, absolutely must share with you. You see, it’s spring, and – and…
RICHARD and BLOGFRIEND (simultaneously, with the joy of shared discovery): … and the flowers are blooming!